Minding Your Mindset
Mindset is Everything, How to Keep Yours in the Right Place
Mindset is Everything, How to Keep Yours in the Right Place
It is easy to get carried away with the externals of life. We think they somehow matter more, or have a greater impact on us because we can touch them, see them, hear them, some of them even smell really good…or bad.
Some external things are in our control, like what we eat for breakfast, others are not, like the dead skunk stink you have to drive past. In fact, if we think about what we can and cannot control, the things truly out of our own control are all external things.
External Focus Leads to Lethargy or Worse
Focusing on externals can lead to a feeling that you have no control over anything. This in turn quickly plunges into anxiety and depression, or lethargy, you just don’t want to do anything…because if you control nothing, you actions don’t matter. Often this all plays out on a subconscious level and we are left wondering about ourselves. We ask our self question like, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get it together? etc. (I am not suggesting that the feeling of having no control is the only cause for anxiety or depression.)
Internal Focus Leads to Power
Focusing on the internals is a great way to remember that there are things in life you can and do control.
If we control our mindset, we can change our lives. But first we have to believe, and then think, and talk to ourselves, and act.
Growth Mindset Starts with Believing
The growth mindset is all about belief. Belief in your own ability to learn and grow and change. Belief that believing actually changes your brain. The great thing is that studies prove this belief in believing works, and since we cannot, in our modern life, believe anything that does not have scientific studies backing it up, well, I guess we are lucky the studies worked.
Transform Your Thinking
You can change what you think about anything with hard work and selectively choosing a thorough brainwashing regimen. Just read a lot of books about the things you want to believe in. This will give you all the case studies, stories, and science you need to truly embrace the ideas. Get a good book for every struggle.
Think you are stupid? Read about how the brain changes and you can make yourself smarter.
Think you are fat? Read about how the body changes and you can lose weight by changing your body chemistry.
Think you are worthless? Well, you may have to dig deep to figure out why you feel this way. Then you can tackle the root cause, maybe get some counseling, surround yourself with people who do not think you are worthless and then let it go.
Seriously, I have watched people waste themselves because they are so attached to being worthless. Life is less scary if you just believe you are worthless and incapable of anything. It is possible you are using this as a scapegoat so you don’t have to bother with being awesome.
(I know it is not easy, you can’t just wake up one day and decide you are valuable. That is why you need others who see your worth, because through their eyes, you will start to see it too. But you also have to have a lot grit, others can’t do all the work for you, they can only support you in the work. In the end, you have to decide.)
Look for inspirational books by people who have been through this and have come out on the other side with a healthy sense of self-worth. Look for books about shutting down negative self-talk.
Be ruthless with your own negative thoughts, counter them at every turn with the positive that you want, even if you don’t believe it yet. You will believe it eventually. But first you have to force the good to be louder than the bad.
Don’t think you can change externally and will suddenly love yourself. Too many people think they will be happy if the get thin, get rich, or get that prestigious promotion.
Happiness happens on purpose, from the inside. Being content and happy will not come from any external accomplishments, those things can provide a boost, reduce stress (it is great to know you have enough money for groceries), and are a great compliment to the happiness you have inside.
But they cannot create it, and if you think you are worthless now, you will still think you are worthless when you are rich and skinny.
Unless you start attacking those beliefs right now, from the inside. It is hard silent work. And the only reward you will get is loving life.
Mindset is the new catch phrase, it used to be called attitude, and before that belief.
It really all boils down to changing how you think, which is done with consistent habits of thought, and you can give yourself as many external reminders as you need to practice the habit until it becomes second nature.
Journaling is a great way to discover you thoughts, and change your thought patterns. Getting it on paper is a great step towards conquering the beliefs you do not want to have. It can also be therapeutic to then write down what you want to think and feel about yourself, what you want to believe. Burn the old beliefs, or rip them until they are tiny little shreds, physically destroying them will help you on you psychological journey.
Talking to Yourself is Good
I know talking to yourself has a connotation of crazy that goes with it. But we all talk to ourselves all the time. It is just a matter of how loudly or quietly we do it, and also how aware of it we are. If we are not aware of our internal dialogue, we cannot change it.
Talking to yourself on purpose, perhaps even scripting what you want to say, is a great step towards having the mindset you want.
It is all for Nothing if you do not Act
The point of working on your mindset is so that you can become a better person. A better person has the tools to be a better friend, a better boss or employee, a better parent or child, just better.
But to be better at these things in our life, we have to actually be doing stuff. We can’t just stay in the talk-to-yourself and examine your beliefs and read books phase. Everyday we should do a bit of it all.
The biggest mistake with action is the temptation to wait for perfection before you do anything. You are growing and imperfect. It is okay if your actions are not all perfect. Guess what? No ones actions are perfect. But it is those who chose action everyday that manage to transform both themselves and the world around them. Everything else is just about supporting and feeding yourself to give you the energy and courage for the action that is needed.
What action? Only you can answer that. And believe me, you already know the answer, go write it down.